Oh, look, I still exist.
OK, so I know I’ve been neglecting this blog like nobody’s business, but in my defence, it’s been pretty busy. Even outside of the everyday goings-on of Real Life, there are many difficulties a writer must shoulder – trying to make a living, dealing with the omnipresent bane of plot holes, and dealing with the fact that postmodernists want us dead. Worse is going through the many checks and preparations and self-doubts that precede trying to find a literary agent that might get you in connection with a publishing deal. But, and this is a rather ominous and harrowing thing to confess, after many weeks of such agonizing, I’ve finally sent a sample of Private Tuition to a literary agent.
So, now it’s out there. And this is when things change…kind of. I mean, I know this is only the beginning, the agent in question actually needs to like my stuff, and I need to get to work in contacting several more as well, but for now it definitely feels like something has shifted. This is the next big phase, and it’s probably worth commentating on.
And on top of the nerves and palm-sweating, I’ve constantly been paranoid that every single formatting blunder I make is going to be an issue raised by anyone who receives my manuscript or its chapter samples and they’ll scream blue murder at me (I mean, probably not directly at me, they’ll just do it to themselves imagining my gormless face is in front of them so they get a kick out of it) about how awful I am and as if anyone would publish your garbage!
And it gets worse when I acknowledge that, yes, when disclosing my contact information, I seem to have made a slight blunder…but hopefully that won’t register and the agent will just be content in contacting via the email they got the manuscript from…
I have no idea how long I’ll have to wait, or whether any next phases are going to be successful, but until then, it does feel like an achievement. Have I ever published a book? No, not yet. But I’ve got closer than I’ve ever been before.
And at the end of the day, that’s really the most transformative thing. I have written, shared and finished stories before, but actually taking important steps to putting them out into the world is something utterly new and highly pivotal. I have no idea what will come of it (and I’m certainly not ruling out abject failure all around as a possibility because my anxiety won’t let me), but this moment won’t easily be forgotten. I should celebrate with a glass of champagne and a ceremonial cigarette. But as I value my liver and lungs, I think I’ll content myself with…orange juice and QI? Eh, why not?
I will hopefully post a little more regularly (though I’ve said that before), starting with a review for a book I finished yesterday, and I also have a new author website, courtesy of my university which I’ve been working on which includes details of my plans for future works and will be updated with news as soon as I get it.
Until next time (whether that’s tomorrow or nearer the Heat Death of the Universe), take care!